Episode 164
Dave
Show broadcast on 8 April 2017
Hot Cross Bums.
Podcast intro
The guys' favourite service stations.
John's introduction of Elis
"To my left, a dear friend, comedian, anecdotalist and the greatest co-host a man could wish for, Mr Elis James. To my near-left, a man who three years sat, nervous and quiet, watching the Elis James and John Robins Show hit the airwaves for the very first time. A shy gosling who has grown into a hot virile goose. He's the Vin-tern no longer, it's Producer Vin. And, directly opposite me, a face I have gorged on for some 164 weeks. The son of a timber magnate, the father of a digital commercial indie institution. He is the strongest male role model in my life and, like all previous ones, has decided to leave me. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you for the final time, Mr Dave Masterman. "
Conversations and riffs
It's Prod D's last show today. Elis and John are both wearing their best pants, and John has a spare pair in his bag. John announces that he is flying at half-mast all day in honour of Dave, sending Elis into hysterics.
The guys discuss possible ideas for one of Dave's many startup enterprises, Dave's Horny Cakes: Hot Cross Bums, Apple Bend-overs ("Ring the good radio bell!").
For the final time, Dave hands John a piece of paper to read out: "...Looking for investment... think there's still a market opportunity... analogue erotica... is that what they call it now, Dave? ... Masterman's Master- oh Dave, I'm not reading that out."
Getting to know more about Dave with some quick-fire questions. A revelation that Dave's favourite film is Teenwolf.
The last 30 mins of the live show was given over to a tribute to Dave from the boys.
Elis James' Light-Hearted Paper Review
Elis' selection of humorous stories from this week's newspapers.
Grey hair causes heart disease. Breakfast gives you Alzheimer's. People asking Nadia Swahala what they should have for their tea. The worst parts of the country to order a beer, due to dirty pipes in pubs.
John's Shame Well
John frees another listener of their shame.
A tale of teenage unrequited love, walking a girl home but bottling out of asking her out at the end and instead asking to borrow a pound for chips.
John regales us with a similar tale from his youth, cycling around to the house of a girl he fancied to call on her, with his top off and a can of Bass shandy in the bottle holder of his 12-speed bike to look cool, but then not knowing what to do next when she answered the door.
Betabet
Elis and John compete to name as many things as possible on a theme in alphabetical order in 30 seconds.
Makes of car. John wins 12-6.
Email of the Species
Listeners' emails into the show.
Elis talks John through the concept of a GIF. a pretentious gig-goer at a Grandaddy gig wearing a trilby, sketching the band and taking pictures of discarded beer glasses.
The 'Keep It Session' Sessions
A special section at the end of the podcast for music recommendations.
Nothing But a Heartache' by the Flirtations (Elis)